Broken
by Qzil
Summary: Love is not limited to species. Pokemonxhuman.


Re-written. I can honestly say that I don't like this as much as I used to, but it was one of my first stories, y'know?

The ending is still flat, and it probably still sucks. But I hope you'll enjoy it anyway.

xxx

Why is it so hard to jump? To take that final step over the edge, and end it all? Why is it that when you're on the ground, it seems like it'll be easy? Why is it that once you get up there, you can't bring yourself to jump? They always say that the broken don't deserve to live.

I'm broken. Broken in heart and in spirit. Once I jump, I'll be broken in body. With just one little step, the outside will match the inside.

I teeter at the edge of the tower, my black paws slipping slowly off the stone, a few ripples appear in the moat beneath me, as if fish are leaping. I look at you, sitting at the edge of the moat, your children running around on either side of you. You all look like ants, running around on the ground, and fishing in the moat. I stare at the children, the children that should have been mine, if only the law allowed it.

xxx

It all started just twenty years before you were born. At first it was just something a few people found disgusting, but soon it became law. Pokemon and humans could not have sex, marry, or have children. All of the human-Pokemon unions were annulled, and the Pokemon released. The unions were deemed "unnatural" and "an insult to humanity." Soon it was decided that husbands and wives would be chosen by a compatibility test taken when someone turned eighteen. Eventually they changed it. Females could only marry other males, and if you were infertile you were forbidden to marry.

My mother often liked to tell me of her first mate, a human male that she said had loved her very much. She told me that at first, he was her trainer, nothing more than a friend. But they had become much more. She told me that love could bloom from the smallest bond, and to be careful where I placed my affections. At first I didn't know what she was talking about, for I had always been against human-Pokemon relationships, since one of those had caused my mother so much pain.

That's when you caught me.

At first, I hated you. You took me away from my home and family, making me battle for you. But, in time, I learned to love you as a friend and trainer. I learned to love you as someone who was always there for me. It didn't take long until I took pride in my battles, and I wanted to train and win, if only to see you smile for me. I didn't know it at first, but the seeds of love were planted then.

For the next few months those seeds were nurtured; growing and growing until they blossomed into a beautiful flower. We trained and won, earning every badge there was.

That's when the most amazing thing happened; I evolved. During the final match of the Pokemon League I began to glow, evolving into an Umbreon as the moon eclipsed the sun. I evolved because I loved you, and I wanted to see you smile as I won. You had tears in your eyes as you ordered me into battle, and as we won you were bawling and clutching your trophy. You hugged me on the stage, and I really thought you loved me as I did you.

Soon after that, you turned seventeen, and we had a peaceful year at home. We trained little, instead enjoying your last year of singlehood. Then, your eighteenth birthday came, and you had to take your test. Before you left, you told me you didn't want to get married, and that you hoped your husband was a nice man. Three days later your assigned husband was on our doorstep.

You were lucky. He was a rich man, and he could throw you a big wedding. I even got to wear a tiny little tuxedo, and his Milotic got to wear a dress. Even though you didn't want to get married, you put on a happy face. At one point as a joke, you picked me up and danced me around to a waltz. Your whole family laughed, and it was all a joke to them. It was our first and only dance, and since then I've played those moments over and over in my mind. But as soon as the waltz was over, your new husband took you into his arms and twirled you around. Your white dress floated over the brown floor like cream in coffee, and I had never seen you look so beautiful.

You looked happy by the end of the night, and not a false happiness. A true happiness, nothing like the fake smile you had put on at the start of the evening. Your husband's Milotic laid her fanned tail on my shoulder.

"I love him, you know," she told me quietly, as if not wanting to be heard by the other Pokemon there. I nodded. "You love her, don't you? That's why you look so sad." I nodded, and she smiled.

"She doesn't love me back though," I told her, watching you twirl with your new husband, as if the two of you were becoming fast friends. The Milotic shook her head, the ribbons on either side bouncing.

"You don't know that," she told me. "Pokephilia is more common then you think, it's just hidden well." I looked around the wedding, and sure enough, there were Pokemon and their trainers acting a little too friendly. A Pikachu feeding it's master cake; a large Charizard dancing with petite teenager, her red hair flying everywhere; a young man and a Gallade talking telepathically too each other, their eyes shining. I smiled and put my head in my paws, knowing there was hope.

Six months later we found out you were pregnant, and you were so happy. It was regulation to have two children, a boy and a girl, to keep the population even. Soon you learned that you were carrying twins, and for a time you became unhappy. If you were to have two girls or two boys than one of them would be taken away. No one knew what happened to extra babies, and everyone feared the government killed them.

I watched helpless through your pregnancy, only being able to nuzzle into your neck and whisper my words of comfort. In turn, you'd clutch me like a teddy bear, soaking my inky-black pelt with your tears. Morning sickness was the worst, I would stand by the toilet while your husband made you breakfast and brought your medicine. He had to work a lot of hours to afford the lavish lifestyle that his family lived. He moved you to his family's castle in Kanto, so you could both be closer to his work. During the long hours he was gone, I would take care of you. I tried coaxing down food and urging you to sleep.

Finally the day came where you could learn the gender of the babies. I was allowed to be in the room with you, the doctor humoring you since you were pregnant. I watched you while you and your husband watched the screen, eyes wide and frightened. First the doctor pointed out the boy, then you grabbed your husband's hand, and my paw as he announced the other's gender.

It was a girl.

You began to cry at that point, and your husband cried, too, overjoyed that you could keep both your children. I licked your cheek, and your husband kissed you. We were both happy for you.

Secretly, I wished those children were mine. I wished that you and I could be together and I wished that people could understand all forms of love.

But they couldn't. They just couldn't.

The rest of your pregnancy went fairly well, and the birth went even smoother. The two twins were named Eva and Evan. Both had your husband's coal-black hair, with a streak of your blonde. Their eyes were your clear blue, and if no one knew better, they could've been mine.

I treated them so. Eva even called me 'daddy,' once. When Evan had nightmares, he called me, a Dark-type, to chase away the scary things. Eva was always getting into trouble, dying my fur blue with the drink mix, chasing a Pidgey up a tree only to fall out and break her arm, or just stealing your make-up...and putting it on the both of us.

Twelve long years flew by, and Eva and Evan grew up and left on their journeys. The house was quiet, and my days were spent sleeping or hunting on the open grounds of the small castle. You took up gardening and tennis while your husband took up golf and hunting. Sometimes I would go with him, and come back with large and rare pokemon as a prize. One in a while, Eva and Evan would come home for a visit. Always on Christmas and your birthday. One day, Eva took me into the back room and clipped Silph Co.'s brand new invention, a translator, around my neck.

"Dad, I want you to tell me the truth," she ordered, sitting so she was eye-to-eye with me.

"I'm not your father," I growled to her. Eva only sighed.

"You and Mother raised us together like you were my father. That's what makes a dad in my book," she shrugged, "Promise to tell me the truth, okay? Are you in love with Mother?" I sighed and shuffled my paws.

"Eva...how did you know?" I asked her, crimson eyes staring at the floor. She laughed.

"Even my real dad says you are, Father. You don't exactly hide it well," she told me, giving me a pat on the head like I was some old man. I suppose I was by that time. "Don't worry, Father, I understand if you don't want to tell her."

"Eva, why are you asking?" I asked her. She smiled and kept silent as she unhooked the translator and pulled a collar from her bag. Humming, she clipped it on me.

"Like mother, like daughter," she said quietly, holding up a mirror so I could see the collar. It was yellow, like the rings on my head. Woven into the collar in black thread was the names of the whole family. Slowly I smiled.

As thanks, I licked her cheek. She smiled and went back into the dining room while her father broke out the Christmas presents. I sighed as snow began to fall. If this was any other family, than the scene would've been perfect. But we weren't a normal family, were we? Of course we weren't. We were just a bunch of pokephiles acting normal; almost like a play.

What happens when the play ends? What happens to the family? What happens to the false happiness?

xxx

Memories.

I shake my head, trying to clear away the images clouding my thought process. I raise a jet-black paw and brush it against the collar on my neck, the one Eva gave me for Christmas last year. I don't know if your husband will be sad when I end my life. I know Eva will be sad, since she thinks of me as a father. Evan, too.

Will you be sad? When I'm not sitting on the couch with you in the morning, will you miss me? Will you regret catching me?

Will you regret everything that's happened?

I won't regret a single moment of it. Not our battles. Not our time together. Not the children. Nothing.

But I can't live like this. Everyday I can't be with you makes my heart twist and turn. Almost like a long, pointed thorn has twisted and turned itself into my heart, grinding it into a pulp in my chest. I know this is unfair to you, and unfair to the children.

But life has been unfair to me.

I shake my head again, take a deep breath, rear back on my hunches...and jump.

I feel as though I'm flying Faces flash before my crimson eyes. Your husband, the man who took you away from me, even if he didn't mean it. Evan and Eva, the sweet children I raised as my own. My mother and my brothers. Finally, I sess your face. A face full of love, and sometimes full of sadness. Your beautiful face is my parting gift from this world.

Then I see nothing but red as I hit the ground. My paws break upon impact, next my legs. I feel pain ripping through me as bones burst out of my fur, sending blood spouting onto the grass. Cats always land on their feet. I guess dogs do, too.

I open one eye, the other is filled with blood, and I see your face. I almost smile.

"Why would you do this?" you yell, small tears splattering onto my fur. "I need you, damnit! I need you!" You sob and cradle my broken body in your arms, blood staining the white dress you're wearing today. "I love you." you whisper, your arms rocking my body. I sigh happily and close my eyes in your embrace, my torn fur brushing against your clothes.

I am one of the broken. Those broken in spirit, and quite possibly in mind. Now the outside matches the inside.

But my heart is no longer broken. Three words, three simple words, have healed torn edges and jagged cracks. I am ready to go to the next life, where we can be together without laws and judgement. Where I can be completely healed.

Perhaps, in a way, we're all broken here, and the only way to heal ourselves is change. To accept people for who they are, and to stop judging people for things they can't control.

Until that happens, the broken will remain broken, and even more will break.


End file.
